9 Stupid Answers for Stupid Questions

1. Someone calls you at 2:am in the night and ask you

 "are you sleeping?"

Ans: no, I’m picking beans.
2. You're making out with a girl then you start pulling her pants then she asks;
what are you trying to do?
Ans: I want to wash them for you.
3. They see you coming out of the bathroom, wet;

 ''did you just have a bath?''
Ans: no, I fell into the toilet bowl
4. You standing right in front of the elevator on the ground floor going to your office, yet they ask
are you going up?''
Ans: no, I’m waiting for my office to come down and meet me!
5. Your boyfriend comes home with a bunch of flowers and you still asks him;

 ''are those flowers?''
Ans: no baby, they're carrots!
6. You're in the queue at the cinema to buy tickets, a friend see's
you and ask;

 ''what are you doing here?''
Ans: I’m here to pay my school fees!
7. When people see you lying down with your eyes closed, they still ask;

 ''are you sleeping?''
Ans: No! I'm practicing to die.
8. You went to a restaurant  the waiter asks you:

 ''Plz can I get you a table?''
Ans: No. I’m here to eat on the floor.
9. Are you reading this article?
Ans:....
Ye

Cheating in exams

Cheating in exams

It's a new idea for cheating in exams.
you can ask your friend without make teacher see you , that's good
you can write material in your disc , that's good
you can put material in bathroom, and enter bathroom during exam , that's good
you can replace the answer paper with your friend , that's good
you can use micro headphones and speak with someone out the exam , that's good
you can make the cleaner put paper with answers when he clean your disc
But if you want a new method
you can write answers in your fingernails....!!!!

speedometer & iphone

speedometer application in iphone device

In your car. If you find speed meter of your car isn't working good, you can use your iphone
to solve the problem until you prepare your damaged speed meter.

HOW?!!!!

you can use speedometer application in your iphone .
you can fix the application.
Make it be connected with GPS and enjoy your life with high technology.
The photo may be funny.
But, the idea can open your mind to another ideas.

Reading & bathroom

 Improve Your Reading Skills

1.  Do you "say" the words you’re reading? Do strange words slow your speed and comprehension? Do you read every word? Do you re-read sentences? Do you vary your speed to suit the material? Evaluate your reading habits to find out where you need improvement.

2.  Choose a place where you’ll have few interruptions, have good lighting, can sit in a good chair, and won’t be distracted by radio, TV or other noises. Hold the book about fifteen inches away (about the distance from your elbow to your wrist). Provide the best conditions for reading.

3.  If words are blurry, get your eyes checked by a professional. Don’t "say" what you read, and don’t re-read unnecessarily. Read phrases, not every single word.

4.  Increase your vocabulary by keeping a dictionary handy, maintaining a list of new words, and knowing the origin of words.Use your eyes efficiently.

5.  Know what and why you’re reading. Preview the material, especially when studying. Study reading requires closer, slower reading. For leisure reading you can go faster. Be sure you get the information in graphic aids and illustrations.Match your speed to the material you are reading.

6.  To improve your reading speed, practice for about 15 to 30 minutes each day, checking your rate in words-per-minute. Check your comprehension by summarizing what you read. Ideally, you want to read faster while maintaining your understanding. Therefore, use the same type of materials each time you practice to provide the consistency needed for meaningful practice. 

MICRO BUS LIKE SWING

MICRO BUS LIKE SWING

Perfect gearbox has straight lines for moving among different speeds.
For old cars there are four gears for speeds   first, second, third, fourth.  But for new cars the number of gears may be more than four gears.
Also new cars have automatic gearbox. That change gear with itself without drivers do anything.

first microbus was made by volks wagen company

Vegetable dish

  vegetable dish is very useful 

Benefits of Vegetables

People that eat vegetables as part of their daily diet have good healthy. 

whatever, this isn't our topic.

our topic is the form of the dish ,and the regular shape of man face.

It contains carrots, peas, potato and tomatoes in his chin.

It contains peppers around his eyes.

It contains potato also in his nose.

It contains cucumber in his forehead.

It contains maple leaf as his hear. 

It contains carrots in his lips.

It contains corn in his teeth.

the idea is not about eating vegetables, but the idea is how to eat it and make your children eat vegetable. 

Difference between school and university

A Dozen Ways to Differentiate

12. In school, you do homework. In college, you study.

11. In school, you wear your backpack on one shoulder; in college, on both.

10. In college, the professors can tell you the answer without looking at the teacher's guide.

09. In school, you're told what classes to take. In college, you get to choose; that is, as long as the classes don't conflict and you have the prerequisites and the classes aren't closed and you've paid your tuition.

08. In school, if you mess up you can usually sweet-talk your way out of it. In college, you're lucky to ever talk with the professor.

07. In school, when the teacher said, "Good morning," you mumbled back. In college, when the professor says, "Good morning," you write it down.

06. In college, weekends start on Thursday.

05. In college, it's much more difficult to figure out the course schedule of the man/woman you have a crush on, in order to figure out where he/she will be walking around campus in order to "just happen to bump into him/her."

04. In college, there's no one to tell you not to eat pizza three meals a day.

03. College women are legal.

02. In school, you can't go out to lunch because it's not allowed. In college, you can't go out to lunch because you can't afford it.

01. In college, you can blow off studying by writing lists like this.



Difference between men and women in ATM usage

ATM Usage

Men vs. Women

A sign in the bank lobby reads: "Please note that this bank is installing new drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, both male and female procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.


MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Roll down your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Put window up.

7. Drive off.


FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Put car in reverse, back up to align car window with the machine.

3. Set parking brake, roll the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Reinsert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

11. Enter PIN.

12. Press cancel and reenter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.

18. Recheck makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty handbag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.

23. Give dirty look to irate driver waiting behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

25. Redial person on cell phone.

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

27. Release parking brake.



History of money and funny money

The History of Money

• Cattle are probably the oldest of all forms of money. Cattle as money dates back to 9000 B.C. Some cattle were still used as money in parts of Africa in the middle of the 20th century.
• The first coins, pieces of bronze shaped like cattle, appeared around 2000 B.C. Their value was determined by their weight, making their use cumbersome.
• Coins with their value imprinted on them were first produced in Lydia (present day Turkey) around 650 B.C. Around A.D. 806, the Chinese invented and briefly used paper currency, but the first consistent use of paper money was by the French in the 18th century.
• The Massachusetts Bay Colony issued the first paper money in America in 1690. The colonies would later form the United States.
• On April 2, 1792, Congress created the U. S. Mint. A month later, land was purchased for its construction in Philadelphia, which was then the nation’s capital.
• The U.S. Mint produced its first circulating coins — 11,178 copper cents — in March 1793. Soon after, the mint began issuing gold and silver coins.

Funny Money

• Before the days of paper money, Americans traded animal skins, including deer and elk bucks, for goods and services. Hence the word "buck" to describe money.
• American Indians used to carry around strings of clamshells to use as money, which they called wampum. Wampum was the most common form of money in North America. By 1637, the Massachusetts Bay Colony declared wampum legal tender, which meant it could be used as money.
• What happens if your money gets trashed? The Office of Currency Standards will replace it if you can present to officials 51 percent of the note. If your cash has been burned, torn or otherwise destroyed, they will help you verify and replace that money. The office once received a shotgun in which a man had hidden some money, but forgot and fired the gun. In another case, a farmer sent his cow’s stomach stuffed with money.
• In 1916, you could get your money laundered for free! If your money was in good enough shape, you could take it to Washington, D.C., where it could be washed, ironed and reissued.
• Parker Brothers printed more money for its Monopoly games than the Federal Reserve has issued in real money for the United States. If you stacked up all the Monopoly sets made, the pile would be more than 1,100 miles high.

CAN'T

CAN'T

Unless Food Is Mixed With Saliva You Can't Taste It

Frogs Can't Swallow With Their Eyes Open

A Duck Can't Walk Without Bobbing Its Head

A Crocodile Can't Move Its Tongue

Cats Can't Move Their Jaw Sideways

A Crocodile Can't Stick Out Its Tongue

Hummingbirds Can't Walk

Owls Can't Move Their Eyes From Side To Side

Emus Can't Walk Backwards

Whales Can't Swim Backwards

Giraffes Can't Swim

The Cheetah Is The Only Cat That Can't Retract It's Claws

Roosters Can't Crow If They Can't Fully Extend Their Necks

Emus Can't Walk Backwards

Snakes Can't Blink

Snakes Can't Bite In Rivers Or Swamps (They Would Drown Otherwise)

Gorillas Can't Swim

Giraffes Can't Cough

You Can't Tickle Yourself

You Can't Trademark Surnames



Oddity and Jokes in English language

• Did you know the most commonly used letter in the alphabet is E
• Did you know the least used letter in the alphabet is Q
• Did you know dreamt is the only word that ends in mt
• Did you know the first letters of the months July through to November spell JASON
• Did you know there are only 4 words in the English language which end in 'dous' (they are: hazardous, horrendous, stupendous and tremendous)
• Did you know the oldest word in the English language is 'town'
• Did you know 'Bookkeeper' and 'bookkeeping' are the only 2 words in the English language with three consecutive double letters
• Did you know the word 'Strengths' is the longest word in the English language with just one vowel
• Did you know the dot on top of the letter 'i' is called a tittle
• Did you know the past tense for the English word 'dare' is 'durst'
• Did you know the word 'testify' derived from a time when men were required to swear on their testicles
• Did you know The first English dictionary was written in 1755
• Did you know the word old English word 'juke' meaning dancing lends its name to the juke box
• Did you know 1 out of every 8 letters written is an e
• Did you know the longest one syllable word in the English language is 'screeched'
• Did you know all pilots on international flights identify themselves in English regardless of their country of origin
• Did you know the expression to 'knuckle down' originated from playing marbles (players used to put their knuckles to the ground for their best shots)
• Did you know the word 'almost' is the longest in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order
• Did you know the most commonly used word in English conversation is 'I'

What is this, How it can be.....????!!!!

What is this, How it can be.....????!!!!

Yes, It is true.

This is one person only.

But, you may think that, there is a person wears a mask and carry another person.

No, It is a trick.

Really, I know that you want to wear this clothes.

Also, I want to wear this clothes.

" Don't be tricked with appearance "



First female doctor.....Egyptian

 In the period known as the “Old Kingdom” in Ancient Egypt, from 2600-2100 BC, all professions were open to men and women, including the clergy, business, and medicine. In fact, records show that there were more than 100 prominent female physicians in Ancient Egypt, with Peseshet as their director. She was known as “lady overseer of the female physicians” – although it is not established that Lady Peseshet was a doctor herself and even if she was she was not the first known female physician. That title goes to someone who practiced medicine almost 100 years earlier: the world’s first known female doctor was Merit-Ptah (2700 BC).

As with mathematics and astronomy, medicine was well-developed in Ancient Egypt, with physicians specializing in various medical fields, including eye care and dentistry. Midwifery was also a practiced profession.

World’s most famous midwife

Trotula of Salerno (?-1097) was a physician, midwife, teacher, and author. Trotula‘s treatise on gynecology, De Passionibus Mulierum Curandorum (The Diseases of Women) was used in medical schools until the 16th century.

Her topics included the need for cleanliness, a balanced diet, and regular exercise, warned of the effects of emotional stress, and discussed birth control, problems of infertility, male infertility, sewing (and avoiding) tears suffered in childbirth, repositioning a baby during a breech birth, and the problems of sex and celibacy. She even told how a woman might pretend to be a virgin.

Mother’s Day

The ancient Greeks dedicated their annual spring festival to Rhea, the wife of Cronus and mother of various deities. The Romans called the event the Hilaria, by making offerings in the temple of Cybele, the mother of the deities on the Ides of March. Early Christians celebrated the festival on the fourth Sunday in Lent in honor of the Virgin Mary, adorning churches with jewels, flowers and expensive gifts. In England, an ecclesiastical order decreed the dedication as Mothering Sunday.

The event was not celebrated nationally in the United States until Julia Ward Howe suggested Mother’s Day in 1872. In 1877, on the second Sunday of May, Juliet Calhoun Blakeley stepped in for the Reverend Myron Daughterty when the reverend became distraught, apparently because an anti-temperance group had forced his son to spend the night in a saloon. Proud of their mother’s achievement, Charles and Moses Blakeley encouraged others to honor a Mother’s Day. In the 1880′s the Methodist church began celebrating Mother’s Day in Blakeley’s honor.

Various efforts were made to honor Mother’s Day nationally in the US but it received official recognition only after Anna Jarvis organized a series of Mother’s Day Work Clubs. The first Mother’s Day was celebrated in Grafton, West Virginia, on May 10, 1908, in the church where Jarvis’s mother had taught Sunday School. (Grafton is the home to the International Mother’s Day Shrine).

The Mother’s Day International Association was founded on 12 December 1912, and on 7 May 1914 President Woodrow Wilson designated the second Sunday of May as Mother’s Day in the US.

Although Mother’s Day is honored internationally, Mothering Sunday is still celebrated in many countries.

Pen is mightier than the sword



English novelist and dramatist Edward George Earle Lytton Bulwer-Lytton (1803–1873) uttered the wise words “The pen is mightier than the sword” in 1839 for his play Richelieu; Or the Conspiracy:

True, This! — Beneath the rule of men entirely great, The pen is mightier than the sword. Behold The arch-enchanters wand! — itself a nothing! — But taking sorcery from the master-hand To paralyse the Cæsars, and to strike The loud earth breathless! — Take away the sword — States can be saved without it! 

Indeed, politicians often are at the sharp end of the newspaper quills, such as at Global Research, ProPublica and Rolling Stone. They (the politicians) should take in the wise words from another old enemy of theirs, Napoleon Bonaparte: “Four hostile newspapers are more to be feared than a thousand bayonets.”

Time will tell how well journalists have been sharpening their words against the blunt ideas of the elected. Of course, you can follow the mood on the top political blogs but blogs still have some way to go to reach the edge that newspapers still swing. And to think the end of newspapers – and the end of the book – has been predicted since the dawn of the personal computer. Alas, thanks to their online presence, newspapers actually have more readers than ever before.

Books are doing pretty well too. Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling became the world’s first billionaire writer. She sold many times more books than the next two best sellers, Enid Blyton and Theodor Seuss Geise (Dr Seuss), who have an estimated 100 million sales each. Really good numbers. Unless you are the villain in the story.

World population

World population

In 1801, when the first complete world census was carried out, the world’s population was 1 billion. China had 295 million people, India 131 million, Russia 33 million, France 27 million, Ottoman Empire 21 million, Germany 14 million, Spain 11 million, Britain 10 million, Ireland and the USA 5 million.

World population landmarks:

2 billion people : 1927

3 billion people : 1960

4 billion people : 1974

5 billion people : 1987

6 billion people : 1999

6.9 billion people : 2010

7 billion people : 2011

As in July 2010, China has a population of 1.3 billion; India 1.2 billion, USA 307 million. Britain has a population of 61 million, Russia 141 million, France 62 million, Germany 82 million.

If Facebook was a country it would be the 3rd largest country in the world, with more 500 million registered profiles… which is almost 100 million less than the number of registered users on QQ.

 



OLD TELEVISION

The first public television pictures were transmitted in 1926. The first TV interview was made with Irish actress Peggy O’Neil in April 1930. The first televised sporting event was a Japanese elementary school baseball game, broadcast in September 1931. The first daily broadcast was started by the BBC in November 1936. The first TV commercial was a 20-second ad for a Bulova clock, broadcasted by WNBT, New York during a game between the Brooklyn Dodgers and the Philadelphia Phillies in July 1941. The first regular TV soap was DuMont TV’s A Woman to Remember, which began its run in February 1947.

 

Bulova paid $9 for that first TV spot in 1941. Bulova also was the first watch in space, where more people have been than to the bottom of the ocean. The deepest point being the Mariana Trench off Guam in the Pacific Ocean; it is 6.77 miles (10,9 km) below sea level.

 

Bathroom hole

Imagine, you are in a hotel.

And, you want to go to bathroom.

When you opened the door of the bathroom, you see this view.

Frankly, what will your impression be?

And, what will you do in this moment?

Personally, I want to do this view in my flat.

And you ?

 Do you want to do this view ?



NO, It isn't a photoshop work.It is ......

NO, It isn't a photoshop work

YES, You may know, where this view is located

BUT, More people don't where this view is located

Are you from the people who know or not

On the whole, this view in China in a city called Panjin

It's a beach of a Liaohe River

This red colour is a kind of algae

Really, It is created by ALLAH



Fantastic garden

Do you know, What is this ?

Yes, I know that you want to say that it is a tap

Yes, they are a tap and water

But, How ? and, What is the thing that hold the tap?

And, Where……..?

It is a fountain.

And there is a holder of the tap through the water connected in the nozzle of the tap

This fountain in a garden

Actually, It is a fantastic garden.

Marriage between an apple and an orange

Marriage between an apple and an orange

Actually, It is funny picture

But, Do you think that, it may be really in the future

It is the photoshop program that can make this only

That, I think

OR, It may be hybridization between an apple and an orange

But, what is the male ? and what is the female ?

OR. It may be an orange, But it is hidden in an apple style

Let's guess



Dangerous Innovation

Dangerous Innovation

Imagine, you drive your car in the street

 Suddenly, you see this view.

What will you do?

Will you go?

OR, Will you come back?

Really, It is perplexing view

The person who paints this picture is clever painter

I can't trust my eyes if I see this view

And you?